Please or to access all these features
Talk
Flip
Join the discussion and meet other Mumsnetters on our free online chat forum.
Join the discussion and meet other Mumsnetters on our free online chat forum.
Chat
26 replies
Proudcarer6829 · 29/12/2021 11:18
I always imagined by the time I was 40, I'd be financially a lot better off and could afford doing something really special but it hasn't worked out that way. Working loads and hardly any money left over, whatever does goes on the children. I know lots of people in the same situation. What did you do for your 40th? Did anyone have a really good time even though you didn't do anything spectacular?
OP posts:
Advertisem*nt
purpledagger · 29/12/2021 12:26
I get it OP, it feels a bit sh*t when you still have young children, life stresses and not much money.
I started saving up for my 40th about 6-9 months beforehand. I put £30-£70 away each month. I also saved more by cutting back on work lunches, coffees etc. my plan was to have a shopping spree, so I started stalking the items I wanted.
I actually managed to find much of what I wanted in the sales etc way before my birthday, so I would buy them and put them away. For example, the bag I wanted, I found on eBay for less than half the price (brand new with tags), so my money ended up going so much further. In fact, I barely paid full price for anything.
The key to making my birthday special was that I was clear about what I wanted and I told everyone what my plans were. It's not like I was demanding the moon on a stick.
Proudcarer6829 · 29/12/2021 12:49
@purpledagger
I get it OP, it feels a bit sh*t when you still have young children, life stresses and not much money.
I started saving up for my 40th about 6-9 months beforehand. I put £30-£70 away each month. I also saved more by cutting back on work lunches, coffees etc. my plan was to have a shopping spree, so I started stalking the items I wanted.
I actually managed to find much of what I wanted in the sales etc way before my birthday, so I would buy them and put them away. For example, the bag I wanted, I found on eBay for less than half the price (brand new with tags), so my money ended up going so much further. In fact, I barely paid full price for anything.
The key to making my birthday special was that I was clear about what I wanted and I told everyone what my plans were. It's not like I was demanding the moon on a stick.
Glad you managed to spoil yourself!! I did have some inheritance and for my 40th I was going to treat us all to a weekend away but I've had to dip into it every month to pay for bills/car repairs etc..
OP posts:
TinyTroubleMaker · 29/12/2021 12:52
Place marking as I'm about to turn 40 and no idea what I want to do to celebrate even with money...
I'm thinking I might do a smaller thing each month for the year, rather than one expensive thing at one point in time.
purpledagger · 29/12/2021 12:54
Put some of it aside fir yourself. Now.
Instead of a weekend away, have a cheaper day trip.
PermanentTemporary · 29/12/2021 12:55
I was a student and fairly skint on my 40th. I just had a party. Value vodka and orange, crisps, tealights in jars. Playlist of bangers from every year of my life. Loads of people brought wine so I made a profit 
Covid makes this more difficult but I had a great time.
Advertisem*nt
SuperLoudPoppingAction · 29/12/2021 12:57
I invited a few friends over during the day for lunch and drinks.
It was really lovely to feel relaxed and not pressured to host a perfect party.
Everyone had a good time.
I also took my youngest to a concert on the actual day of my birthday and we went to my favourite museum beforehand.
We had no time to get nice food before the concert so we ate a Greggs meal on a bench.
Also fun and relaxed.
Advertisem*nt
leccybill · 29/12/2021 12:59
It was the height of the first lockdown when I was 40, sadly for me. Mu husband and daughter made a nice but cheap afternoon tea for me at home and DD made a little pretend Spa and did my nails.
It was the best we could do in the circ*mstances but I felt loved and cherished which was the important thing.
picklemewalnuts · 29/12/2021 13:04
Do 40 new things that year.
See a sunrise, walk 15miles, do a one day fruit fast....
See 40 friends/family members, one to one.
Ask friends for your birthday gift to be an hour doing their favourite hobby with them...
Get started
- Playmobil Easter eggs review: a great alternative to chocolate Looking for an alternative to chocolate Easter eggs this year? Try gifting a Playmobil Easter egg instead - tried, tested and approved by Mumsnetters. Read more
- Best outdoor activities for kids in the Easter holidays Looking for some inspiration on how to entertain your brood this Easter? Check out our list of ideas for fun-packed outdoor activities to try during the school holiday. Read more
- 100 Christmas baby names inspired by the festive season It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Find our list of unique Christmas baby names inspired by the festive season to help you find the perfect choice for your new arrival. Read more
TheVolturi · 29/12/2021 13:07
I had mine this year and didn't do anything expensive. Me and dh went to a lovely cafe for breakfast together while the dc were at school, and then we went to b&m and got a few treats, things we wouldn't normally buy.
SailingNotSurfing · 29/12/2021 13:15
You don’t need expensive gifts, a meal out, champagne and dancing - you can have a fabulous day doing exactly what you want with the people that you love.
Advertisem*nt
Malibuismysecrethome · 29/12/2021 13:22
If you are a summer baby how about a beach party or party in a park where everyone brings a bottle and you have some picnic type food.
Winter is a bit harder but maybe a room in a pub or local hall and buffet food and bring a bottle.
Mackmama · 29/12/2021 13:24
My kids had brilliant birthdays in 2020 visiting a lovely beach for the day with family (at the point when that was allowed) for a picnic. We took food and drinks and others brought things too. I’d fancy doing that for my 40th, although I appreciate its weather dependent x
Proudcarer6829 · 29/12/2021 14:08
Thanks for such lovely ideas. I love picnics too which some have suggested, unfortunately mine is a winter birthday!
OP posts:
Proudcarer6829 · 29/12/2021 14:09
@PermanentTemporary
I was a student and fairly skint on my 40th. I just had a party. Value vodka and orange, crisps, tealights in jars. Playlist of bangers from every year of my life. Loads of people brought wine so I made a profit
Covid makes this more difficult but I had a great time.
Sounds good!
OP posts:
Proudcarer6829 · 29/12/2021 14:10
@SuperLoudPoppingAction
I invited a few friends over during the day for lunch and drinks.
It was really lovely to feel relaxed and not pressured to host a perfect party.
Everyone had a good time.
I also took my youngest to a concert on the actual day of my birthday and we went to my favourite museum beforehand.
We had no time to get nice food before the concert so we ate a Greggs meal on a bench.
Also fun and relaxed.
Sometimes it's the simplest things that are the best!
OP posts:
Advertisem*nt
Proudcarer6829 · 29/12/2021 14:10
@picklemewalnuts
Do 40 new things that year.
See a sunrise, walk 15miles, do a one day fruit fast....
See 40 friends/family members, one to one.
Ask friends for your birthday gift to be an hour doing their favourite hobby with them...
What a great idea!
OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 29/12/2021 14:59
Mine was last winter in full lockdown. We went for a walk in local countryside, played on the swings in the playground and had a zoom party.
Maybe not plan A but was better than the rest of lockdown.
Proudcarer6829 · 29/12/2021 16:47
@BogRollBOGOF
Mine was last winter in full lockdown. We went for a walk in local countryside, played on the swings in the playground and had a zoom party.
Maybe not plan A but was better than the rest of lockdown.
Mine was in lockdown last year too. I guess there's a possibility it could be again so maybe I shouldn't get too ahead or myself!
OP posts:
NalPolishRemover · 29/12/2021 18:19
We didn't have lots of spare cash thanks to a work project that went a bit wrong the year before for self employed dh.
But my parents offered to take dc for a weekend & we got cheap flights to Paris (helps to have a Feb birthday!) Dh found a small but v charming hotel close to the Eiffel tower & we went for 3 nights. We walked miles each day & took lots of coffee / glasses of wine breaks as the weather was snowy. Lots of cozy cafes.
On the day we had lunch at one of Paris's old famous (expensive!) Cafes....We didn't intend to but took refuge from the weather & dashed in, then realised where we were so blew the budget on 2 croquet monsieurs, 2 glasses of wine, 2 coffees & 2 patisserie deserts from an AMAZING dessert trolley! That lot came to 100e & it was more than a decade ago now!
But it was really worth it as the atmosphere was memorable (obviously since I still recall it all so many years later).
That night dh wanted to find somewhere for dinner but I was tired & also felt we'd spent enough. I knew he was feeling pressure to do something given the day that was in it.
We went back to the hotel to warm up & change. Dh ran me a bath & when I got in, I realised I had a view of the Eiffel tower through the bedroom window over the rooftops. It was magical.
I realised I really didn't want to go back out in the cold sleet to try to find a restaurant. Dh said he'd seem a tiny Italian restaurant on our street so he went out & came back with 2 of what turned our to be the best pizzas we've ever had & a bottle of champagne & we lay in bed looking at the Eiffel tower & the snow on the rooftops.
It was a perfect evening in the end!
Malibuismysecrethome · 29/12/2021 18:45
^ sounds absolutely breathtakingly beautiful
Advertisem*nt
Chocachocaholic · 29/12/2021 18:57
It's my 40th tomorrow. We had plans to go to Manchester for the night with a day shopping in Trafford centre followed by lunch in the ivy on New Year's Eve however we made a decision to cancel in December as we expected to be in some kind of lockdown and we didn't want to risk losing money on the hotel etc. as it has turned out no lockdown but now we have no babysitter either so won't be able to go anywhere. We do have a hot tub (covered) and a bottle of Moët so will probably do take away and hot tub once littlest is in bed. Teenager will be at home though so sure she willl be in her room all night albeit it be awake later than us.
If im honest I'd rather stick my head in the sand and pretend im not turning 40 🙈
Proudcarer6829 · 29/12/2021 21:16
@Chocachocaholic
It's my 40th tomorrow. We had plans to go to Manchester for the night with a day shopping in Trafford centre followed by lunch in the ivy on New Year's Eve however we made a decision to cancel in December as we expected to be in some kind of lockdown and we didn't want to risk losing money on the hotel etc. as it has turned out no lockdown but now we have no babysitter either so won't be able to go anywhere. We do have a hot tub (covered) and a bottle of Moët so will probably do take away and hot tub once littlest is in bed. Teenager will be at home though so sure she willl be in her room all night albeit it be awake later than us.
If im honest I'd rather stick my head in the sand and pretend im not turning 40 🙈
Happy Birthday 🎂 for tomorrow! I hope you have a lovely day even though it wasn't exactly what you wanted. I hope you can go to the Ivy again when things improve a bit.
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Proudcarer6829 · 29/12/2021 21:17
@NalPolishRemover
We didn't have lots of spare cash thanks to a work project that went a bit wrong the year before for self employed dh.
But my parents offered to take dc for a weekend & we got cheap flights to Paris (helps to have a Feb birthday!) Dh found a small but v charming hotel close to the Eiffel tower & we went for 3 nights. We walked miles each day & took lots of coffee / glasses of wine breaks as the weather was snowy. Lots of cozy cafes.
On the day we had lunch at one of Paris's old famous (expensive!) Cafes....We didn't intend to but took refuge from the weather & dashed in, then realised where we were so blew the budget on 2 croquet monsieurs, 2 glasses of wine, 2 coffees & 2 patisserie deserts from an AMAZING dessert trolley! That lot came to 100e & it was more than a decade ago now!
But it was really worth it as the atmosphere was memorable (obviously since I still recall it all so many years later).
That night dh wanted to find somewhere for dinner but I was tired & also felt we'd spent enough. I knew he was feeling pressure to do something given the day that was in it.
We went back to the hotel to warm up & change. Dh ran me a bath & when I got in, I realised I had a view of the Eiffel tower through the bedroom window over the rooftops. It was magical.
I realised I really didn't want to go back out in the cold sleet to try to find a restaurant. Dh said he'd seem a tiny Italian restaurant on our street so he went out & came back with 2 of what turned our to be the best pizzas we've ever had & a bottle of champagne & we lay in bed looking at the Eiffel tower & the snow on the rooftops.
It was a perfect evening in the end!
Sounds amazing! My birthday is in March, not sure if travel will be back to normal by then. I know you can get really cheap city breaks or you use to be able to.
OP posts:
Doofas · 29/12/2021 21:27
We did nothing exciting on the day beyond work etc, then on the nearest weekend family gathered in the biggest family garden and had fish and chips and played a few games. Luckily it was a summer birthday! Would have just headed inside of it got wet thankfully biggest garden also meant biggest house and hosts were happy either way as they had to provide no food etc, premises was all they needed to provide and as close family they were happy to do that. It d fishy have to chat you a lot of you are clear to tidy you are inviting what you expect of them eg we'll get a take away s and apply the cost, I'm thinking BBQ, and we can all bring meat and rolls xx and a salad or pudding or drinks. It's about getting upfront! And celebrating didn't have to be in the day itself to be celebrating. Hope you have a great day
Chocachocaholic · 29/12/2021 22:46
Thank you @Proudcarer6829 x
Flip
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.
Advertisem*nt
